Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we're making bets on your personal life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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