you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
