If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
