I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
