Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
