How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
