We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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