Say something about gay babies.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
