hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
