If i come over, it means nothing
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
