I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
