Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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