There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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