Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
