TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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