i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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