College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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