It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
