I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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