Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I look better un-naked...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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