3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Come see our sink grown plant.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
