I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
