he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
