You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
