Define "chronic" masturbator.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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