yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
