I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
