so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
