WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
