yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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