It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
