we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
