Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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