and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
