This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
