"it" just moved
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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