i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
