how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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