Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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