so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
