Why is your signature on my underwear?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
