You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
