I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
