It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
