If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
