shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
