i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
