How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
