Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
