I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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