Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
