Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
