saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
